Finding peace in my pain

This selfie was taken this weekend on the high street, outside a bus stop! May not look like a lot to most people – but it means everything to me. It represents a step forward – whilst trying to control my seizures, I haven’t been able to take my girls out on my own for a long time… but this Saturday gone by, I took the girls and our dog on the bus for a day out in Kingston all on my own… it meant everything to me and it was just perfect. 

It’s been a while since I last wrote a post – the last few weeks or so have just been tough (I also hadn’t realised how much time had gone by, I write notes to myself regularly but I didn’t really have anything coherent to share). It’s not been tough because anything specifically bad happened, it’s just been tough to keep everything together. I’ve kind of been stuck between many different thoughts of what lies ahead – and at any one moment I can go from feeling excited to scared, which then leaves me frustrated! It’s not a fun cycle – and I feel it’s probably a cycle we’ve all been stuck in at different points over this last year. Real talk – being very honest I think I’ve just felt a bit fragile and have allowed the smallest and most insignificant of things effect me… but I have a message for you and for me… let’s not give up! 

This is a short blog post with a simple message – YOU’RE ENOUGH… regardless of what is going on in the world, we need to be able to get up and look in the mirror and really believe that. It’s not always smiles (a lot of the time recently it’s been tears!) and it’s ok to find life hard… but take a moment – God doesn’t make mistakes, you have a purpose and He has a plan for you… and know that you are perfectly made, you are unique. Let that really sink in…

As another lockdown lifts you may look back and say you’ve done nothing during this pandemic, you may have completely reinvented yourself – either way its OK! It’s your OWN journey. Personally speaking, I’m both excited and hugely anxious as we return to a world that may feel quite different… but regardless I’m going to keep striving to find my peace 🙏🏾