Changing seasons…

Things are changing for us all – the purpose is different, priorities are different, life itself is different. When I first shared about my health battle, a few different people sent me articles and videos about seasons – they come and then they go, or rather they change. One season doesn’t last forever, it will be there for a time before the next one comes in… and what are seasons? I see seasons like one’s circumstances – the things that are in front of you, the challenges you face, the positive things you embrace, the people in your life… in some way, shape or form, you could consider everything as a season. The 2 things that have really stood out to me, particularly with everything that has happened this year, are people and challenges.

People – who are my people? There are some people who are going to be there through every season, and that’s probably how you know that they are truly YOUR people – they are always there, good and bad, ugly and sad, celebrate your wins and give you courage through your losses… I think you get the point! But honestly until more recently I feel like this concept has eluded me my whole life – I’m only just understanding this properly now. Don’t get me wrong – my motto will always remain to get along with people, be kind, and find the best in everyone you meet… but it’s ok not to be best friends with everyone you meet! And similarly not every person wants to be best friends with me (as shocking as that may seem!). If you’d asked me 10 years ago who would be by my side, supporting my victories or at least carrying me through my defeats, I would’ve told you a different list to what I see today. The Sam 10 years ago would’ve listed people that are my friends, but maybe more people that were either very present in my life at the time (which is fair enough) but also people that I would consider important to my aspirational development and would have liked to have been supporting me… not sure if I explained that correctly. What I mean is sometimes we… scrap that, sometimes I have formed these friendships/alliances with people for my own selfish motive rather than a pure relationship… as hard as this is to admit- what can I get out of it, how can it benefit me etc. Sometimes when a season changes, it also brings about an end to unhealthy relationships, sometimes it gives birth to new fulfilling friendships, sometimes it rediscovers those from a season gone by – what I’ve realised is not to waste your time on people and things that bring any negativity into your circle that’s not constructive. It taxes your mind and these days even if I don’t realise it my body tells me I’m stressed, i can feel myself flagging, exhausted… So instead I’m saving my energy and spending it on things I love doing and on my people- because life is too short.

The challenges – I write this as we here in London come out of lockdown and try to find our feet again. I write this with the hope that whoever needs to is able to find a new meaning of what our purpose is and where our happiness lies – not just based on material things, not just based on accumulation of wealth, but in our time spent as well. The last few months would’ve been a struggle for alot of people – and by struggle I mean financially as well as mentally… it’s been a battle to just stay in the game. But flip the thinking – take it back to the seasons and remember THIS season will change… I’m not saying you need to be singing happy and clapping all day if you’ve just lost your job, but try to find the opportunity in the midst of the pain… you will get through this… set yourself up for even bigger and better.

This brain tumour might be here for the rest of the seasons in my life – but I’m determined to take it on and use it to my advantage. I almost feel like every scan I have is a season in itself – scan 1 (early Feb) with the initial diagnosis – verdict: BAD season, it was tough… and looking back on it, I just needed to get through it and stay in the game. Scan 2 (end of Feb) verdict: more positive, tumour hasn’t grown… ok Sam let’s rebuild, let’s reprioritise. Scan 3 (May) verdict: Positive- it still hasn’t grown compared to the first scan and we can assume this is not an aggressive tumour at the moment… onto the next scan…

So as we come out of lockdown just remember… seasons change and so do we… lets embrace it.